Thursday, May 31, 2012

Just for the Pun of It . . .

About a month ago, this picture (not mine, alas) was making the rounds of Facebook. I posted it on my page where it prompted a string of punny comments -- mainly between Martin of Square Sunshine and me.

 It was so much fun, I didn't want it to get lost so am posting it here -- with apologies to those of you who read it the first time. And if you're not a fan of truly bad puns, just keep moving -- nothing to see here.

It was Merry who started it....
  • Merry Elrick - Lettuce make you smile!
  • Martin Hodges - Pepper to abandon ship!
  • Vicki Lane - But, alas, the captain was as cool as a cucumber and the doomed ship steamed on....
  • Martin Hodges - Everyone thought, now there's a man who knows his onions.

  • Vicki Lane - Only the cook knew that they were well and truly in the soup...
  • Martin Hodges -Yes, not even the seasoned travellers knew!

  • Vicki Lane - Blithely dancing the Mashed Potato on the afterdeck, the passengers seemed not to carrot all. 
  • Martin Hodges - Apparently, the loud crunching sound mint nothing at all to them.
    Vicki Lane - 'Hello?' said the oiler, ' perhaps something will turnip.'
    Martin Hodges - And all the time, Leo and Kate were promising to beetroot to each other.
  • Vicki Lane - A ship of fools, a random collection of human beans, all unsuspecting ...
  • Martin Hodges - Look out! The fennel is about to collapse!
  • Vicki Lane - Corny though it was, the band continued to play...
    Charles Mullen - I was going to participate. But mine are just too corny!
  • Martin Hodges  - Even though the crew had used the last rocket
    Vicki Lane - ‎"Perhaps at last I'll get some peas,' thought the hen-pecked husband as he saw his nagging wife loaded into the last lifeboat.
  • Martin Hodges - Even though he knew he wouldn't see her again, he mustard up the courage to smile.
  • Vicki Lane - A rowdy gang of Swedes sang their national anthem as the waters enveloped them.
  • Martin Hodges - I saw one of them climb to the stern endive into the icy waters.
  • Vicki Lane - The rest chose to romaine where they were, swigging down the akavit and singing...
  • Martin Hodges - Then came the dreaded moment, and the bandleader cried, 'That's shallot!"
  • Vicki Lane - Barley a quarter of the passengers survived the chili waters.
  • Susan Jane Urbanski Best. String. Ever.
  • Martin Hodges - Spare a thought for those poor souls who remained, pumpkin out the water, until the last minute...
  • Vicki Lane - It was such a squash in the lifeboat that the countess had to sit beside a common tater.
    Martin Hodges - He had escaped through a small fire, and was looking a little chard.

  • Vicki Lane ‎"Now I'm in a pickle,' he thought, 'but it's a dilly of a story.'
  • Martin Hodges - In fact, such a good story, if he survived, he might make it on to the Okra Winfrey Show.
  • Vicki Lane - Meanwhile, the countess was calling for her maid, 'Tara! Tara! Oh, bugger, where's Tarragon?'
  • Martin Hodges - Then the countess heard a voice crying weakly, "Here I yam, your ladyship."
  • Vicki Lane ‎(Martin, you're cracking me up.) Tara, who was one hot tomato, was snuggled between two handsome  passengers.
  • Martin Hodges - ‎(great fun, isn't it?) But Tara had also packed a bottle of scotch. She now had more than enough to salsify her.
  • Vicki Lane - Her nose was cherry red while her cheeks were aubergine.
  • Martin Hodges - She received many compliments, but they were wasted on her, as she was parsley deaf.
  • Vicki Lane - Her seat mate, a burly lad named Art, took a swallow of her scotch and began to cough. Pounding him on the back, Tara shouted, "Don't let Artichoke!"
  • Charles Mullen - Rosemary can't elope until the thyme is right.
    Martin Hodges - But I thought her number one man was Alf...Alfalfa
    Martin Hodges - Really enjoyed that, Vicki. Lovely way to pass the time. Cheap and chervil, too! (Sorry couldn't resist)

  • Vicki Lane - Good grief -- where does the time go! I must get out and pull some weeds. But before I leaf, I wanted to mention that though her hair was frisee and she was chilled to the marrow, Tara was recognized by a reporter on the rescue ship as RuPaul's infamous younger sister, Ru (wait for it) Barb.
    Judi Dowlearn Alef - Such a shame the iceberg cutter didn't make it in tyme.

  • Vicki VanValkenburgh - They need a comment-thread Hall of Fame for stuff like this.

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Ms. A said...

Goodness gracious, you smarties sure got a lot out of one photo!

Sue P said...

These are great - sometimes groaningly so - but fun nevertheless! Very, very clever stuff.

On your post about the cemetery, am I looking at William Griffins grave wrong? Born 1854. Died 1927.
Age 53 years. Maybe I'm not seeing the numbers correctly.

Pat in east TN said...

I sure got a good chuckle over that first thing in the morning! What keen minds to come up with such comments.

KarenB said...

That's hysterical! How did I miss it the first time round?

A Bit of the Blarney said...

Made my day!!! I was captivated. You all are such wits!!!! What a treasure in words!!! Have a wonderful day! Cathy

Barbara Rogers said...

Wordsmiths to food puns like a baby to candy! Most enjoyable.

Brian Miller said...

lol...that was a riot...glad you captured it to entertain us...smiles...

Vicki Lane said...

Sue, That's what it says. I hadn't noticed but there is, indeed, some odd math going on there.

Coloring Outside the Lines said...

Martin always cracks me up!

Darla said...

You made me *snort* ... much appreciation for the morning chuckles! :-)))

NCmountainwoman said...

You are hereby inducted into the comment-thread Hall of Fame!

Jean Baardsen said...

I loved it the first time around and, like a good meal, it was worth repeating....

Sam Hoffer / My Carolina Kitchen said...

How fun. I'm a great fan of puns. Somewhere we have a joke book of puns.

Deanna said...

Best read I've had in a very long time! Thanks for sharing.

katy gilmore said...

So clever - all of you!

jennyfreckles said...

I'm crying with laughing now. There's nothing I like more than some clever and witty wordplay, from the hands of masters here! Thanks so much for sharing this.

broken biro said...

I just came over from Martin's blog and laughed til I was red in the race .... Yes, I did a LOL au Rossi!

*gets coat*

Teresa Ashby said...

This is so funny - so clever too! :-)

Betsy Brock said...

Bravo to all...that was hilarious! :)