Sunday, January 9, 2011

Stop Me If You've Heard This One. . .



Before I get to today's post, here's an addendum to the past two posts from Bo Parker of Cobbledstones.

"We're talking about one of the most flexible, expressive words in our language, depending on its pronunciation. There's the matter-of-fact one-syllable sound of the word in a simple declarative sentence explaining nothing more than what one just stepped in. Or with a bit more inflection, hard on the "it," the word can be an expression of utter disgust to something, like maybe a reaction to what one just stepped in.  And finally, pronounced with extended emphasis on the "e," often proceeded with "oh," it can be a statement that stresses the unpleasantness of a situation, like realizing one had forgotten to clean shoes and tracked it across the kitchen floor.
  
"As you said about poo. 
It may stick to the shoe.
But that's not as bad as a young boy's summer woes.
Chicken shit sticks between barefoot toes. "

Thanks, Bo!

  ******
Brenda asked for this story and I don't remember if I've posted it before . . . this is my 1,120th post and I may well have.

But I'm going to tell it again anyway. And I'm not going to post pictures of the blizzard that's going on as I write this on Saturday. We have over a foot of snow now and they say there's some serious weather coming. . .

So, here's the story Brenda wanted to hear.

Down the road from where we live is a little Free Will Baptist church. We aren't believers and at the time of this story -- maybe 25 years ago -- I'd never even been in this church. (Later, I went with a neighbor to a revival there but that's another story.)

Back then church met Wednesday night and Saturday night and it was one Saturday night around nine that John and  I were returning from having dinner in Asheville. As we neared the church, it was obvious that a big service was under way -- the church yard was full of cars and trucks and vehicles were parked all along one side of the narrow road.

Actually, they were parked in the road, taking up the other lane, and we slowed down. Through the church window we could see the preacher waving his arms wildly -- in fact, he seemed to be doing jumping jacks. 


John slowed the car to a crawl as we both watched in fascination. And then there was a jolt and a bump and our car was in the ditch. In the ditch and not moving. 


We had visions of church letting out and the congregation gathering round as the preacher pointed out what happened to sinners who spent their evenings carousing in the fleshpots. (What are flesh pots anyway? Sounds awful.)


So we very quietly got out of the car and, giggling like mad, hurried up the road toward our driveway about a half a mile off. 

Once were out of sight of the church, we slowed and took our time getting the farm truck and a chain to pull the car free.

When we returned to the scene of the mishap, the church was dark and all the vehicles gone. The saved had gone home to their righteous rest, leaving the sinners to deal with their folly unobserved. 


And we were very thankful.

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25 comments:

Joan said...

I was hoping the 'good' believers pulled the car out. Ah well. Good story!

Martin H. said...

I guess any insurance claim would have met with the 'Act of God' clause.

My Carolina Kitchen said...

I'm with Joan. I too was hoping the church crowd pulled your car out.

I want to thank Brenda for requesting this story and I hadn't heard it. I felt as if I were right there with you and John, giggling and making the best of having your car in the ditch.

Stay warm and safe. The weather sounds frightful.
Sam

Brian Miller said...

smiles. i can understand this on several levels...even having once been a pastor...

Julienne said...

Oh dear, they did let a few of us down didn't they!!!

Bouncin' Barb said...

That is a great story. It is a little scary to see some of the ways others "practice" their religion.

Miss_Yves said...

"As you said about poo.
It may stick to the shoe.
But that's not as bad as a young boy's summer woes.
Chicken shit sticks between barefoot toes. "

Impossible to translate that in French!

Brenda said...

Oh my, that's one I've not heard before! Funny! I like the part where you're both staring in fascination through the church window and drive right into the ditch. You are apparently a treasure trove of great stories!

The one I was thinking of - I was vague about my reference because I didn't want to give too much away. I didn't realize you'd landed in a ditch more than once! In the story I'm remembering, you went into the ditch by yourself, and were quite frightened of tumbling off the side. Does that ring a bell? Maybe one for the next snow day? lol... Fun, it feels like we're all gathered around the fireplace listening to stories and sipping hot cocoa. :)

Vicki Lane said...

I never thought of that alternative ending -- would be a good one.

At that time, none of the local neighbors I knew best were church goers -- when years later I did attend a revival there with a neighbor, the members of the church were warm and welcoming -- thoroughly nice folks. But they do like a preacher to work up a sweat and there is a good bit of hellfire and damnation in their theology that I found hard to deal with. But then, as I said, I'm not a believer.. .

Oh, THAT story, Brenda! You go put the cocoa on and I'll do up a post for tomorrow.

Louise said...

I, too, was wondering if the church people helped you to pull the car out of the ditch. That was a fun story, and, now, I can't wait to hear the other ditch tale.

Star said...

One moment's lack of concentration! My, look what can happen... Glad nothing too untoward happened! I was also expecting you to say that the congregation rushed to your aid, but then again, they had other things on their minds, didn't they?

Kaye Barley said...

okay - so I wasn't able to get here for a couple of days and what happens. I come back and y'all are talking about "shit." LOL! LOVED Justin's comment at the table!

And this story made me hoot, Vicki - thank you. (I was hoping though for an explanation regarding the word "fleshpots," which IS an awful word, I agree).

And thank you for the flower pictures. Right now we have beautiful blue blue skies. But a lot of snow on the ground and as you say, more to come.

Darla said...

Great story! LOL Although, were you tempted to creep up to the windows and listen?!

Kathryn Magendie said...

*laughing! * love this post and the story!

Carol@The Writers Porch said...

Is that the church? I love it!
Great story too! XOXO

Carol@The Writers Porch said...

OH ! I forgot! Being raised in a Holiness church, I have heard of "flesh pots". Those are the bars,cathouses ect. where the lust for flesh is sought. :)


HA! catlover is my verification,I kid you not!

Friko said...

The might have offered to help?
You know, the combined might of the righteous?

Vicki Lane said...

I have to come to the defense of the church people -- they didn't see us go in the ditch (thank goodness) and we left the car locked -- it would have been difficult if not impossible for them to get it out.

Thanks, Carol, for the definition of fleshpots. (We hadn't been there -- just to a restaurant, though we had drunk some wine...)

Marilyn said...

Wonderful story but i must admit I was waiting for a miracle ;-) I am sure you were pleased that the coast was clear when you had to rescue your car.
Wonderful photos as always.
Keep warm.

Brenda said...

Okay, I'm taking orders on the cocoa for tomorrow morning. There's regular, dark chocolate, and cinnamon spice - just let me know!

Kath said...

What a sweet story. I can see the church people coming out to see your truck. Maybe attempting to open the locked doors to see if they could help. And realizing, discretion was the better part.

Vicki Lane said...

Dark chocolate, not too sweet, Brenda ... mmmm!

Vicki Lane said...

Dark chocolate, not too sweet, Brenda ... mmmm!

Vagabonde said...

I would have been scared looking at a revival meeting like that. Now for the word you describe – my problem is my accent when I say “sheet” it sounds the same. At work it was always a problem like when I would ask “did you get my sheet with the memo?” people would jump and stare.

Vicki Lane said...

Dear Vagabonde, French accents are so charming I wouldn't want you to change a thing. But perhaps instead of 'my sheet with the memos' you could substitute 'my paper'. And those are linens on your bed, not sheets. ;-)