Friday, May 6, 2011

Don't You Hate It When...

It's been happening all too often -- I'm getting mail and phone calls obviously intended for my late grandmother . . . or someone much older than I. Yesterday's mail brought this large print solicitation from The Scooter Store, with a helpful (and FREE)  Personal Mobility Assessment just for me! I mean, it had my name right there. It said I could complete it on my own or with the help of my caregiver or family member.

Care giver! What I want is a gardener. And though my knees are creaky, the scooter isn't going to be a bit of help to me unless it has four wheel drive and a dump bed. 

Oh, wait -- we have one of those.

I'm just being cranky -- but I resent the assumption that because I'm 68, I need large print, a scooter, and may need my caregiver to help me decide stuff.

Then there was the phone call on Tuesday -- a woman with a charming, motherly-sounding voice wanted to know if I was taking my diabetes meds daily.

What? I said. Why would I do that? And she muttered something and hung up.

This wasn't a wrong number -- she called me by name.  Again with the assumptions --  a person in my age group may well have diabetes. I suspect that had I said, Yes, I take them every day, she would have been quick to offer me a better price on meds.

If I had a cane, I'd hit someone with it. Instead, I'll quote Dylan Thomas --


Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

As the old man in Monty Python's Holy Grail said, when they were trying to toss him on to the cart full of corpses. "I'm not dead yet!"

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Merisi said...

Oh Vicky,
there are still unsolicited phone calls?
Dang them!

It is worrisome to think that these companies prey on what the think are "the elderly", easy victims of their schemes. Phone calls are especially vile.

And send those letters back, in the helpfully provided postage paid envelope. Then go and whack a few weeds, and sing a song or recite a poem. They'd hate it that you are still able to move and your memory works just fine. ;-)


Merisi said...

That should have been "they think" and "whack a few weeds" - my apologies.

jennyfreckles said...

I laugh and rage with you - I know just what you mean. I'm deaf and have to have a vibrating alarm clock. Its LED numbers are 2cm high and so bright they keep me awake. Just because I'm deaf, I'm NOT blind too! And on my 50th birthday (some years ago now!) by co-incidence or not, I got a free incontinence pad in the post!

Pat in east TN said...

Vicki ... I actually think most folks in our age group could run circles around the younger folks nowadays, but so it goes with the unsolicited mail and phone calls.

nidynoddy said...

Oh those phone calls. I received one asking to renew my mother's soap opera digest subscription. My mother died in 2002.

Betyann Shaver

Vicki Lane said...

Oh, yes, Merisi -- I'll send them their envelope back. Just trying to decide what to put in it.

That is THE WORST, jennyfreckles!

Too true, Pat!

Oh, yes, Bettyann -- we continues to get 'helpful' solicitations about my mother-in law for years after her death.

Brian Miller said...

no you are not so keep kicking it vicki...they are just trying to make a buck and you cankeep it from them by staying active...

Helen T in SC said...


Alan Burnett said...

You are right. We have this organisation for "older people" called SAGA over here in the UK who start mailing everyone the day after their 50th birthday. I think I might just print off that Dyland Thomas poem and send it back to them in one of their reply-free envelopes.

Anonymous said...

We got a call yesterday from a supposed credit card company asking for my husband by name and saying they were 'returning his call.' Of course, he had never called them as he so informed them as he was hanging up.

Lynne in GA

Witch of Stitches said...

LOL!!! Love it and know what you mean! What about the "pre-planning" and Neptune Society mailings - I get those!

Vicki Lane said...

Oh, what a classy idea, Alan! Off to the printer I go...

Unknown said...

This reminds me of when I started getting AARP mail when I was 41. Because my husband was much older didn't mean I was!!! Now I use it and get as many discounts as possible.

Stella Jones said...

I had such a giggle at your post today! so funny, really. Interesting too because on Sunday it is my youngest son's birthday and I have bought him an antique cane as a present. Hope he likes it. You mentioned a cane. When it came to wrapping it up, I wasn't sure how to do it. Then I had an idea - I could use the string of balloons that were up for the Royal Wedding last week and wrap those around it. It worked a treat. All you see is the balloons. You can't see what's inside.
Love the first picture of the flower. Is it an azalea? The colour came out really well, didn't it.

Poetry24 said...

Great quotes, Vicki. Don't worry, on our recent visit to St Michael's Mount, a woman asked me if I was in good health, just as I was about to start the climb. I replied, "We'll soon find out."

Sheryl said...

I hate them too! I do send them back in their postage paid mailers. But what's really funny is that they keep sending them from the same places. Those poor, poor trees.

NCmountainwoman said...

I've been getting the diabetes calls as well. I told the caller that it was none of her business whether or not I have diabetes (I don't), much less whether I manage it. The biggest offender is CVS pharmacy. I've done everything possible to stop the automated calls. I have assurance from no fewer than six people that I've been removed from their call list. But so far it hasn't happened.

Friko said...

The cheek of it!

68 is not old, I bloody well hope not. Somebody as active as you could possibly give the callers and letter writers a run for their money. Besides, after retirement (I know you're still working) life starts getting really busy and there is no time for any of that 'take care and take it easy' rubbish.

Subby said...

A friend of mine is still getting mail in her husband's name...she finally called to tell one of the "offending" companies that he'd been dead for over 3 years!

I generally don't answer the phone, as I just let the recorder pick up ;)

Love the poem! And even better on the Monty Python reference~LOL!


Vicki Lane said...

Star -- that first pic is a rhododendron.

Mountainwoman -- CVS, hmmm... I'll remember that.

Subs -- tried to embed a YouTube clip of the "Not dead yet" scene but it didn't work, alas. (I don't want to go on the cart! I feel better!)

Reader Wil said...

It'sf annoying when you get these phone calls! Here we can get the help of an organization called" don't call me" . We have to dial that number and they see to it that advertisers get our telephonenumbers with the request not to bother us any more. I also hate those people who call you and start the conversation by saying: " you've won a million euros" ! In the beginning I said:" again?". Now I just put the receiver down. It is very annoying! I like the poem very much though!

Subby said...

What's even more annoying is seeing the spam comments other blogs get. Gmail doesn't filtre them out :(

Harbinger said...

I never answer the phone, so don't have that problem.

But, oh, the mail.

Never mind. Shredded, it gets added to kitchen and garden waste and makes lovely mulch!

Merisi said...

"I'll send them their envelope back. Just trying to decide what to put in it."


Will you keep us in the loop? ;-)

Kath said...

Hurrah, Vickie. We are as old as we feel. And don't let anyone tell you differently, no matter what they say about chocolate can reverse aging ... wait.