I used to love getting mail. When I was very young, I sent off for various free offers, just for the thrill of getting a package. I remember the excitement of receiving a slim little kitchen knife with an orangey-brown plastic handle and a serrated blade that might cut a slice of Wonder Bread but that had a little fork on the end, handy for snagging pickles out of a deep jar.
So when I got a little package in the mail yesterday that said it was full of valuable coupons, of course I took a look . . .
Bummer! Also downer! As I leafed through the coupons, I detected a certain theme -- reverse mortgages, a fancy cane, AARP membership, scooter chairs, plantar fasciitis relief, compression hose, hearing aids, stuff for COPD, John Wayne memorabilia, stuff about grandchildren. a cuckoo clock (where exactly does this fit in to the senior lifestyle?) and worse. . .
Portable oxygen, stair lifts, alarm systems, bladder control, copper bracelets, cheap catheters, medic alerts, wigs, hearing aid batteries, and a magazine called The Good Old Days -- presumably the days when all this stuff wasn't necessary.
It's enough to drive an old lady to drink.