Miss Birdie iand the Frisky Oreo

Why, honey, how fine to see you! Come right in and get you a chair -- just shove that wheelchair out the way.

Dor'thy said she'd let you know what happened and where I was and I calculated I'd see you afore long. Is them tangerines? Oh my, how good they smell.

No, I weren't at the hospital but a few days before coming to this place and I told Dor'thy not to let anyone come visit till I got to feeling some better. In the hospital seems like they's always someone -- nurses, doctors, aides, and I don't know what all -- popping into the room to pester you about one thing or another and to ask a lot of questions. You'll not believe it but though my name was on the door and though before they give me a pill, they would look right quick at the little wrist bracelet and then they would ask me to tell them my name and birthday for the world as if they hadn't just then read it on the bracelet. 

Birdsong Gentry, 10- 6- 22 - Law, how many times did I say it!  Most as many times as I had to explain how I come to have a broken ankle and my shoulder wrenched plumb out of socket.

You hain't heard the whole of it?

No, it weren't nothing to do with the truck nor was I driving. I wasn't doing nothing more dangerous than walking back down my driveway, looking through the mail--mostly advertisements like always but there was a postcard from Lexter's grandaughter-

I'm bad to lose track of where I was. You want to know what happened. Well, it was along of that new Florida feller's bull-- the one that looks like an Oreo cookie --feeling romantic.  The Florida feller don't have but three heifers, all  three like the bull, solid black with a great white band around their middles. So the bull was happy with those three but oncet they come in season and he had doctored all three, he got restless. 

And Worley Medders had just turned  five open cows and heifers into that pasture on the hill behind my house-- they are a sight on earth, them pretty Jerseys.Worley gets top dollar for them from dairymen. Worley had wanted to hold off on their breeding till he sold his old bull and brought in this fine champion one he has just contracted for-

Well, I'm getting to it. Here I was, walking down my driveway without a thought for anything but for Kimmie's letter and the trouble she is having with her boss who, from what she said, is just a-sniffing round her and making comments about how pretty she is and him a married man. 

Well, I was so deep in that letter and thinking of what I could tell Kimmie, that I didn't pay no mind to the dreadful bawling  Worley's cows had set up. At least not till I heard hooves clip-clopping along the hard road and a great bellowing almost in my ear.

And the next thing I knew I was knocked off my feet and rolling down the slope  into my garden till I fetched up against Bernice's boy's tiller, which he had left there till he had time to till under the last of the garden. I looked up and plague take it if old Oreo hadn't busted through the fence and was getting right familiar with them Jersey cows.

Just about then Dor'thy come along and like to have a fit making sure I weren't killed. She called 911 and while we was waiting for them, I got tickled at what Worley was like to say about old Oreo breeding with those pedigreed milk cows of hisn. 

It tickled my funny bone so that I busted out laughing.

Lord, Miss Birdie, cries Dor'thy, and goes to staring in my eyes and feeling of my head to see was it hurt any. Whatever is there to laugh about?

Honey, says I, you call Worley Medders and tell him he best
get over here and see about them cows.  And ask him does he like milk and cookies.

Well, I had a time convincing her that my wits weren't addled. Dor'thy ain't never been much of a one for funning. But I see you a-grinning.

 Everwhat, here I am laid low by a frisky Oreo. Right now though, I'm looking forward to watching Miss Hillary give that orange feller down-the-road tonight. To think I have lived long enough to vote for a woman for president -- I've already made sure that the folks here can get me to the voting place.