Friday, September 17, 2010

Nigerian Millionaires and Stranded Travelers Need Your Help!

I had my spam filter off for a while and received these heartfelt pleas. I find them kinda fun. Not sure what that says about me...

I AM JEAN ABBAS,THE ONLY CHILD OF LATE CHIEF PETER ABBAS MY FATHER WAS A VERY WEALTHY GOLD MERCHANT BASED IN ABIDJAN, BEFORE HE WAS POISONED TO DEATH BY HIS ASSOCIATES. 

BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY LATE FATHER IN A HOSPITAL HERE,HE TOLD ME OF HIS (US$15.5M)THAT HE DEPOSITED IN A ONE OF THE SECURITY COMPANY IN EUROPE.I WAS ALSO MADE THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE MONEY.HE DECLARED THE TRUNK BOX THAT CONTAINS THIS MONEY AS A "FAMILY VALUABLES" TO THE SECURITY COMPANY.BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT THEM TO KNOW THE REAL CONTENT OF THE BOX,JUST FOR SECURITY REASONS.

I WANT YOU TO ASSIST ME IN RETRIEVING OF THIS MONEY AND LOGDGED IT INTO A LOCAL ACCOUNT OVER THERE IN EUROPE FOR AN ONWARD TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.PLEASE,YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IS HIGHLY NEEDED.PLEASE THROUGH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS FOR MORE DETAILS (
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I'm sorry for this odd request and I'm not joking. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes,my Family and I traveled to Cardiff Wales for a short vacation and we were mugged at gun point last night at the park of the hotel where we lodged all cash,credit cards and cell phones were stolen from us.

Right now we are owing the hotel $3,000 and the hotel manager won't allow us leave until we settle the hotel bills. We are freaked out and we have limited access to emails for now because am using the hotel receptionist computer to contact you for help,please we need you to lend us some money so we can make arrangements and return back we are full of panic now,the police only asked us to write a statement  about the incident and directed us to the embassy,we have spoken to the embassy here but they are not responding to the matter effectively, we will refund the money back to you as soon as we get home, we are so confused right now and thank God we weren't injured because we complied immediately.

Waiting to read from you so we can let you know how to get the money sent to us.


Greetings !
Dearest one, Please with Due respect and humility, I got your contact from the (International web site directory) We know that this is not the normal way to contacts someone because of the too much scam in the internet but we did it because of its confidenciality.
I am Lucky Johnson, the only Son of late Mr. Wilfred Johnson. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his business associates, my mother died on the 28 November 1998 according to my father he took me and my younger Siter so special because we are motherless. Before the death of my father on 29th April 2006 in a private hospital here in Abidjan. He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has the sum of $5.000.000 (Five Million Dollars) left in a suspense account in a Bank here in (Abidjan),the economic capital of (Ivory Coast) that he used my name as his only Son for the next of kin in deposit of the fund. He also explained to us that it was because of this wealth and some huge amount of money his business associates supposed to balance him from the deal they had that he was poinsed, that I should seek for a God fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where we will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, (such as real estate management) for our future hope.
Please We are honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.
To provide a Bank account where this money would be transferred to and also promise us that you will remain honest and serve as the guardian of this funds with the investment since we are too young to handle such project, untill we finishes our education we will now take over. We have every legal evidence to proove about this funds. Moreover we are willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for effort input after the successful transfer of this fund into your designate account in your country. As soon as you comfirm the money in your account, you will be sending us a sufficient ammount to get our visa to come over and continue our studies in your contry.
We are waiting to hear from you.
Thank you.
 
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18 comments:

Victoria said...

I read these to my husband and we're both laughing hysterically. It's sad, though, that some people actually fall for this kind of thing (or so I've heard; I find it hard to believe that anyone could be so gullible).

Loved the photo of Eddie, and I think he has the right response to these solicitations: "Oh please...talk to the fangs!" Or is he saying "Phew, that really stinks!"?

Martin H. said...

One of the perils of email. When I worked at the university, we had pretty good spam filters but, every morning, I was faced with a few offers I didn't understand. If you know what I mean...?

I enjoyed reading your examples. Creative writing is alive amongst the spammers, it would seem.

Julienne said...

Obviously plagiarism is alive and well in the spamming community!!!!

Brian Miller said...

i get these all the time...and the similarity in them is hilarious...seems they are having a rather rough time...and i am still waiting on my money...smiles. we have had preying mantis getting into the house recently...dont knwo how but abbout every other day i am removing them...

Marilyn said...

These are so common world over, mine go straight to the rubbish bin. I wonder how many people respond to them.

Tammy said...

I especially like the ones that start out 'Beloved' or the ones that demand that this is my final notice to claim my zillion dollar legacy.
Tammy

jennyfreckles said...

You wonder that anyone bothers - surely no-one falls for these? My best spam recently promised - "Eradicate fine lines and wrinkles from your face and neck INSTANTLY!" I presume it went on to say "Chop your head off" but I didn't open it to find out!

Vicki Lane said...

These just crack me up, particularly Lucky Johnson. I don't see how anyone could be taken in by one or three.

But two is more insidious -- it purported to come from an author I know slightly. Her email account had evidently been hacked into and these were going to everyone in her address book.

My spam filter is quite good -- I'd turned it off at some point in a hotel where I had to do that to get on the internet. So these were a kind of novelty for me. (I did turn the filter back on though...)

Yes, I too love that sincerity, Tammy. 'Dearest one'

(Giggle) Jennyfreckles!

Kaye Barley said...

A small thing, but, jeeeez - don't you wish they'd get someone to read over these missives for spelling errors? One I received started off with Dear Belovdes. If you're gonna call me your "Beloved," please spell it correctly. (snort).

NCmountainwoman said...

I hope they don't aspire to be writers or journalists. The stories are no good and the writing is terrible. Too bad they don't have a copy editor...or even spell check.

Friko said...

I know, I know, these emails break your heart, but I'm afraid I am a total, cold-hearted bitch and pay them no attention at all.

I think I had a very similar version to number three, might even have been the same.

Reader Wil said...

Ha,ha!! LOL This is not even clever. Who would believe this?
Sometimes these cries for help are really hilarious.

FOLKWAYS NOTEBOOK said...

Like your photo of the praying mantis. Lovely green color. -- barbara

tattytiara said...

Something must be done about these cruel, heartless hotel managers holding families hostage against their will! I can completely understand why they feel the need to keep their hotel rooms filled with people who can't afford to pay hotel bills, but dammit, the embassy needs to send armed troops in to free our citizens!

Vicki Lane said...

Tee hee -- yes, indeed, here's a job opportunity for a copy editor.

Yep, Barbara -- just when I'd said I thought they went brown in Fall.

You may be on to something, Tatty. It's probably because those hotel managers don't love freedom...

Tipper said...

Every once in a while one slip through my filter-don't you just love how kind they are : )

Merisi said...

Just forward me those pleas, I'll gladly share my account number! ;-)

marĂ­a cecilia said...

Dear Vicki, do you really believe this story....?? Gosh!! I think this is a scam....