FAQ - The Supportive Spouse

  Here's another frequently asked question.

Q: Do you or your husband have any advice for other husbands and/or their author-wives, on how to live with a novelist or --perhaps more important--a budding novelist? 

A: This is a hard one as, I suspect, every relationship is going to be different. Certainly a supportive spouse is an asset --  but the type of support desired or offered is probably going to be different in every case. 

When I  began working on my first novel, I fitted my writing in around my ordinary schedule-- usually working late at night. It was my aim not to let this new and untested obsession interfere with my normal day-to-day life. The only support I needed at this point was to be more or less ignored. I didn't actually want to be asked how things were going -- especially if they weren't going well.

I had a small critique group reading my work in progress, chapter by chapter. I sought advice from my husband on various technical aspects (guns, cars, sailing) that I was using in my book but never asked him to read it as I was pretty sure it wouldn't be his cup of tea.

Once I was under contract and writing to meet a deadline, John began taking over bits of my day to day work on the farm and in the house, freeing up several hours in my day. He is now the bread maker; he makes pizza on Monday nights; he has taken over the twice-daily visit to the chicken house.  All this is in addition to the myriad other things he does on the farm. That's supportive!

Does yours listen to you read your produce aloud?  Do you dare let him hear you?!  Does he read your books-in-the-works? Offer comments?   

No, no, no, and no.  John reads (and says he enjoys) my books once they're in print. But he's not the audience I'm writing for. He's not a fan of woo -woo -- the paranormal elements that continue to slip into my books; indeed, he's not a fan of mysteries -- he reads mainly non-fiction.

In working on one book I did read a bit to him to check if it sounded sufficiently 'guy-like.' And I always check with him when I bring guns into the story as he's quite knowledgeable on the subject. But now that I've been with the same editor for six books, no one reads the manuscripts before she does. It's Herself I'm trying to please.

Does he understand when you are having conversations when it appears there's nobody around (except your character with whom you are having a discussion)?

Well, I don't actually do this. I do tend sometimes to stare into space at the dinner table and not always respond to questions because I'm working out a plot point.

As I said, everyone is different. Some writers like for their spouses to be an active partner -- accompanying them to events, proofreading their work, setting up events, handling publicity. That wouldn't work for us -- John has a farm to deal with. And even if he didn't, trundling round after me to book fairs and libraries and bookstores to hear me do the same presentation again and again. . . well, that would get pretty boring for him.

I deeply appreciate all John does to allow me more time to write. And even more, I appreciate his not asking why I can't get advances like Janet Evanovich.