Monday, November 9, 2009

Reflections on an Anniversary

Forty six years -- where does the time go?

Are we even still the same people who made those ambitious vows back in 1963?

We've been together far longer than we were apart . . . it's hard to remember a time when we weren't a couple. After so many years, we finish each other's sentences . . . answer unasked questions . . . and very often seem to read each other's thoughts. Almost as if we were mirror images of one another.

But it's just possible that we're still together, against the odds ("I give this marriage five years," said my mother back in '64) because we've learned to give each other space to follow our own particular dreams -- freedom to fly.

And the sure and certain knowledge of a familiar place to land.
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Martin H. said...


Excellent choice of photography to illustrate this post.

You know, those vows seems to take on a new life with the passing of the years. I guess that's because most have them have been fully tested along the way.

It's 36 years for us next March. My in-laws were as pessimistic as your mother, but we're still going strong.

Happy anniversary to you both!

Susan M. Bell said...

My mother didn't think we'd stay together. We'll be married 18 years next July, together 19. (We were married a year to the day of our first date.) I'm looking forward to 40+ years with my best friend. And you've hit on the big "secret" to a healthy marriage. Freedom. People shouldn't try to keep each other in a cage. They should be allowed to go their own way, then come on back home.

Happy Anniversary.

Pat in east TN said...

Happy Anniversary to you and John!

Time does seem to fly by ... it will be 45 years for us next June, and the same was said about us. Showed them, didn't we!

willow said...

Happy Anniversary, Vicki!! I enjoyed clicking on your previous anniversary post to see your beautiful wedding pics.

My mother was also sceptical, but we just celebrated 32! Long ago in a galaxy far away, is right!

KarenB said...

Happy Anniversary! Love, honor, respect and cherish . . . big words that need to be practiced daily. Congratulations to you both.

Vicki Lane said...

Hey, Martin, Susan, Pat, and Willow -- I think having those skeptical parents, for me at least, strengthened the determination to see things through . . . now I wonder, did they do that on purpose?

But, yes, we by god showed them!

Yep, Karen, they're HUGE words -- but the nice thing is, if one isn't feeling very loving at one particular moment, them one can work on the respect part. And cherish -- oh, I love that word and all it implies!

NCmountainwoman said...

Amazing! I posted about our own wedding anniversary this morning. Ours was on November 6.


Kaye Barley said...

Happy Anniversary, Vicki!
What a lovely, lovely post.
Cherish is a word I also love; it just says so much, I think.
One additional word I'd add to the mix for a strong marriage would be laughter.

Vicki Lane said...

Mountainwoman -- on my way to check out your post . . . I think that Sam of Carolina Kitchen's anniversary was the 7th or 8th.

Kaye -- absolutely, laughter! A shared sense of humor will get you through a lot of tough times.

Star said...

Congratulations Vicki - it's a great achievement. I hope you have many more years together. I took a look at your wedding picture. That is lovely. Your cake is huge!
Any chance I can read your first book?
Blessings, Star

Vicki Lane said...

Thanks, Star!

I'm pretty sure that my first book, SIGNS IN THE BLOOD, is available on

maría cecilia said...

Good morning Vicki, love your tribute to your anniversary and reflections you made about your being together for so long. You are a good example to me and I do too cherish my marriage. Thank you so much for sharing.
María Cecilia

beadbabe49 said...

Lovely post and photos...I love the other comments too! My family also said it wouldn't last and our 38th anniversary is dec. 6...we laugh each year at how we fooled all of them!

Reader Wil said...

Many happy returns on this wedding anniversary! You were a beautiful bride, Vicky! And your husband looks very handsome too! Your reflections are superb!
We were also married in 1963, but on October, 29th.
My husband died on 9th November,1999.
I hope that you and your husband will stay together for a long time.

Vicki Lane said...

Thank you Maria Cecelia, Beadbabe, and Reader Wil -- my husband and I have been very fortunate.

Or perhaps just unimaginative.

(John's grandfather, at the dinner on the occasion of his 50th anniversary said - "Staying married to the same woman for fifty years shows a terrible lack of imagination.")

Margie said...

Happy Anniversary Vicki and husband, I hope that you had a wonderful day. Here in Europe we are celebrating 20 years since the Berlin Wall came down. Hugs, Margie.

Amelia said...

Congratulations!! I have to say, as Vicki's niece, the younger generation, and someone who is only 5 years into a marriage myself, that you two have always set the standard in my mind, and I'm very grateful to have grown up with you two as role models! Additionally, in reading over your thoughts on what was expected of your wedding from last year's post, I must say thank you again for being so integral in helping me to have the wedding of my dreams. For those reading this, John and Vicki were kind enough to share the farm with us so that my husband and I could have a gorgeous wedding in one of the most beautiful nooks of North Carolina. It means something to get married in a place that is rife with the history of two people that have loved the land and one another so well. Happy Anniversary!

Vicki Lane said...

Thanks, Margie! The Berlin Wall's fall has been in the news here a well -- a wonderful moment.

And Amelia -- we loved having your wedding here! And your brother's as well! When we moved here, we hoped that we would be providing a 'home place' for any in the extended family who wanted to claim it as such -- we're glad you feel that way! Love -V

Carol @ TheWritersPorch said...

Well Vicki I'm a day late and a dollar short but Congrats! Even though I haven't had the pleasure of meeting John and seeing you two together, I can tell by your blog that you are a wonderful couple! I'm not surprised it has lasted 46 years! Happy Anniversary!
I seem to be the newlywed here and my wish is that Eric and I live 18 more years to get to 20 years. I spent 20 years in a bad marriage,20years single, so I hope to spend 20 years in this wonderful marriage I have now!! :)

Vicki Lane said...

Thanks, Carol! And may you all see 20 and beyond!