Nigerian Millionaires and Stranded Travelers Need Your Help!

I had my spam filter off for a while and received these heartfelt pleas. I find them kinda fun. Not sure what that says about me...

I AM JEAN ABBAS,THE ONLY CHILD OF LATE CHIEF PETER ABBAS MY FATHER WAS A VERY WEALTHY GOLD MERCHANT BASED IN ABIDJAN, BEFORE HE WAS POISONED TO DEATH BY HIS ASSOCIATES. 

BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY LATE FATHER IN A HOSPITAL HERE,HE TOLD ME OF HIS (US$15.5M)THAT HE DEPOSITED IN A ONE OF THE SECURITY COMPANY IN EUROPE.I WAS ALSO MADE THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE MONEY.HE DECLARED THE TRUNK BOX THAT CONTAINS THIS MONEY AS A "FAMILY VALUABLES" TO THE SECURITY COMPANY.BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT THEM TO KNOW THE REAL CONTENT OF THE BOX,JUST FOR SECURITY REASONS.

I WANT YOU TO ASSIST ME IN RETRIEVING OF THIS MONEY AND LOGDGED IT INTO A LOCAL ACCOUNT OVER THERE IN EUROPE FOR AN ONWARD TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.PLEASE,YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IS HIGHLY NEEDED.PLEASE THROUGH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS FOR MORE DETAILS (

k

I'm sorry for this odd request and I'm not joking. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes,my Family and I traveled to Cardiff Wales for a short vacation and we were mugged at gun point last night at the park of the hotel where we lodged all cash,credit cards and cell phones were stolen from us.

Right now we are owing the hotel $3,000 and the hotel manager won't allow us leave until we settle the hotel bills. We are freaked out and we have limited access to emails for now because am using the hotel receptionist computer to contact you for help,please we need you to lend us some money so we can make arrangements and return back we are full of panic now,the police only asked us to write a statement  about the incident and directed us to the embassy,we have spoken to the embassy here but they are not responding to the matter effectively, we will refund the money back to you as soon as we get home, we are so confused right now and thank God we weren't injured because we complied immediately.

Waiting to read from you so we can let you know how to get the money sent to us.

Greetings !

Dearest one, Please with Due respect and humility, I got your contact from the (International web site directory) We know that this is not the normal way to contacts someone because of the too much scam in the internet but we did it because of its confidenciality.

I am Lucky Johnson, the only Son of late Mr. Wilfred Johnson. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his business associates, my mother died on the 28 November 1998 according to my father he took me and my younger Siter so special because we are motherless. Before the death of my father on 29th April 2006 in a private hospital here in Abidjan. He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has the sum of $5.000.000 (Five Million Dollars) left in a suspense account in a Bank here in (Abidjan),the economic capital of (Ivory Coast) that he used my name as his only Son for the next of kin in deposit of the fund. He also explained to us that it was because of this wealth and some huge amount of money his business associates supposed to balance him from the deal they had that he was poinsed, that I should seek for a God fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where we will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, (such as real estate management) for our future hope.

Please We are honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.

To provide a Bank account where this money would be transferred to and also promise us that you will remain honest and serve as the guardian of this funds with the investment since we are too young to handle such project, untill we finishes our education we will now take over. We have every legal evidence to proove about this funds. Moreover we are willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for effort input after the successful transfer of this fund into your designate account in your country. As soon as you comfirm the money in your account, you will be sending us a sufficient ammount to get our visa to come over and continue our studies in your contry.

We are waiting to hear from you.

Thank you.

 

ONE THOUSAND

How time flies when you're having fun . . .

sharing the delights of life . . .

And the beauty of the world!

 And a lot of other stuff.  Thanks for all your comments! It's even more fun because of you all.

 

Size 4 Cat . . . Size 2 Bowl

What are you looking at?

It's a perfect fit -- thank you very much.

Move along ... nothing to see here.

FAQ - What Are Your Limits?

Q: Are there things you won't do in your writing or things you just won't write about?

 

A:  Some readers  vow that they won't read a book if the writer: harms a dog, kills a cat, abuses a child, writes a prologue, puts in too much back story, ends on a cliff-hanger, leaves out the back story, writes about violence to women,  gets preachy and pushes a cause, uses adverbs, deploys the F-word, engages in stereotyping, writes dialect, uses italics, kills off an on-going character, uses the past perfect,  writes in a character (human or animal) just for the sake of killing it,  puts in/leaves out sex scenes  . . . I’m sure there are more. And I've been guilty of many of them.

As a writer of mystery, I'm fascinated by how strongly some folks feel about so many things in the mystery genre.  If I followed all these proscriptions, would I gain more readers?

Every writer has heard such warnings— "People won't buy books that ______." And if you want to hear readers express themselves passionately on any of these subjects, just spend a little time at Dorothy L. This online discussion group for mystery fans is an interesting glimpse into the thoughts and opinions of some of mystery’s most ardent and vocal fans.

 Take prologues. There are more than a few Dorothy L-ers who declare that they always skip the prologue and begin at the first chapter.  Always.  As if it were a point of honor. Puzzling.  I had prologues in my second and third books (ART’S BLOOD and OLD WOUNDS) but by my fourth book I was beginning to wonder if I was making a Big Mistake. So I took the prologue I’d written for IN A DARK SEASON and called it Chapter One. Hardly hurt at all.

It’s not so easy to adhere to some of the other requirements various readers have. Early on, I promised a friend that I would never harm a dog in any of my books. That was easy to do – especially since my protagonist’s dogs are based on mine. But then, after I’d mentioned this promise here, a reader made a plea that I would extend the same courtesy to cats.

Oh dear, where will it end, I thought, and in my post What About the Cats?  I explained why I couldn’t make any more promises of this kind. Bunnies aren't safe either. Or people. These are murder mysteries, after all.

The thing is, I finally realized that I have to tell the story and write the book the best way I can – the way the story unfolds as I tap away at my laptop -- not paying attention to polls or writing manuals or even fervent pleas from cat lovers because, in the end, if you tell the story well, you can break the so-called rules.  

No, you can’t please everybody. Somewhere, some day, some affronted reader is going to hurl your book against a wall and vow never to read another. So be it.

“You have to shatter the reader,” was one of the first things my editor told me – before she offered me a contract. So sometimes I write up to the edge of that fine line between engaging readers and turning them off – and thank heavens, there are no promises to keep.

Except for the one about the dogs – they’re still untouchable.

 

Form and Texture

Back in 1976 when first I began to landscape around our house, I was crazy for trees and shrubs that bloomed -- forsythia, weigelia, mock orange. If it didn't flower, I wasn't interested. Fortunately, these were all plants that were easily obtained as starts from friends and neighbors. And they prospered and Spring and early Summer were a riot of bloom.


But unfortunately, all these beautiful shrubs turned into a bunch of brown sticks, come Fall and Winter.


Then I began reading gardening magazines and books. There was all this talk about about form and texture in the garden and talk of 'evergreen tapestries.'


I began to pay attention to junipers and chaemocypress and Dwarf Alberta spruces. Up close, that boring green foliage had different forms --

star-like. . or lacy . . .

And evergreens  aren't just green -- they're yellow and silver and they come in different shapes!

 

When you plant them all together, they do, indeed, make a tapestry! Wow! 
And they look good all year long -- a revelation!

I still like flowers, though.

Hurrah for Editors!

The edited manuscript of Under the Skin (the fifth Elizabeth Goodweather  book, tentatively scheduled for an October 2011 release) showed up Friday. My editor's comments and suggestions are in pencil; the copy editor's marks are in green.(I get to use red this time.)

The copy editor also keeps track of continuity -- making sure that my dates agree, that I don't have Gloria call Elizabeth 'Lizzy' on one page and 'Lizzie' on another. My editor (Herself) is reading, I think, with an eye to writing style and to building tension, as well as making sure that what I say makes sense.

When I'm writing, I already know quite a lot about these characters and their background and motivations and if I'm not careful, I may forget that the reader doesn't have all that same information. Herself and the copy editor bring their fresh eyes to the work.

They catch me when I repeat myself; Herself pushes me to add more tension to a flat scene and suggests a better word or phrasing now and then.

It's truly a suggestion. I'm free to write 'stet' by their changes -- which means 'leave it the way I wrote it.'

I don't often disagree. This time though I've stetted my use of the lower case g when a speaker who isn't a believer says something like 'Oh my god.'  I like to save the capital G for someone actually invoking the Deity.

I love reading through these pages and polishing the words one last time. It's been months since I sent it in and it's fun to read it again.  And oh, how I love seeing which parts Herself liked -- and where the copy editor agreed!

Words...

  MUSLIM PRAYER FOR PEACE:

In the name of Allah, the beneficent, the merciful. Praise be to the Lord of the Universe who has created us and made us into tribes and nations, that we may know each other, not that we may despise each other. If the enemy incline towards peace, do thou also incline towards peace, and trust in God, for the Lord is the one that heareth and knoweth all things. And the servants of God, Most Gracious are those who walk on the Earth in humility, and when we address them, we say "PEACE."

CHRISTIAN PRAYER FOR PEACE:

Blessed are the PEACEMAKERS, for they shall be known as the Children of God. But I say to you that hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To those who strike you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from those who take away your cloak, do not withhold your coat as well. Give to everyone who begs from you, and of those who take away your goods, do not ask them again. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

JEWISH PRAYER FOR PEACE:

Come let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, that we may walk the paths of the Most High. And we shall beat our swords into ploughshares, and our spears into pruning hooks. Nation shall not lift up sword against nation - neither shall they learn war any more. And none shall be afraid, for the mouth of the Lord of Hosts has spoken.

How many crimes have been committed, how many wars fought in God's name? 

Go HERE  for more peace prayers from many faiths. Everyone seems to think peace is a fine idea...     

House of Prayer

 

I've always been intrigued by this simple little building and its angel grotto.  Surely there's a story here...

Drowning in Tomatoes

Tomatoes on the vine . . .

Tomatoes in buckets and crates . . .

Tomatoes everywhere.

Sixty-three quarts and counting....

Pas de Deux

Sipping summer's store, 

Butterflies breakfast beneath

Bright September sun.

 

FAQ -- Will You Read My WIP?

Q: Would you read/take a look at/ critique/edit my work in progress?

A: No.

Unless you're in one of the classes I teach, I really have to decline. And here's why.

I'm overwhelmed with stuff to do already -- just now, tomatoes, garden, house, the reading I'm doing for the Edgars -- all these are consuming most of my time. In a week, my writing class starts: in a few more weeks my new book is out and the month of October is full of visits to book stores, libraries, and other groups -- and I'm not even working on a book now. As soon as I begin my next book, there is no such thing as extra time.

There's another reason I'm reluctant to read your work. There are many kinds of writing -- and  some just leave me cold -- not my cup of tea is one of the politest ways of saying it. And not my cup of tea includes many a blockbuster New York Times bestseller. 

So I really wouldn't want to discourage a writer by responding negatively. Who know, you may be the next Mary Higgins Clark or Dan Brown!

 That said, here's a few quick thoughts for you would-be novelists -- stuff I would tell you if you were in one of my classes.

If you're writing a novel you need a sense of where it's going, an initial problem that sets things in motion -- leading, after many twists and turns, achievements and setbacks, to a resolution.

You need a protagonist readers will care about. This is why readers keep  reading -- to find out what happened to this person who has captured their attention.
   
And you need to catch your reader's attention at once -- on the first page. (It's a constant battle to keep the reader's attention with all the distractions available in modern life.)

Show, don't tell. Get comfortable with dialogue. Learn how to skip over tedious bits that don't contribute to the story. Put in the weather. Give  your characters something to do while they talk to each other (and don't overdo the drinking coffee, eating meals thing.)


Read your stuff aloud. You'd be amazed at how this helps you to avoid stilted language.


You should have an idea of what sort of book you're writing (what would you compare it too?) and who your protagonist is and what she/he wants. What stands in his/her way and how will she/he overcome it?

If you're serious, you'll keep going.