Sunday, June 6, 2010

A Sunday Tanka

Bright colored blossoms --
Summer's fragile, fragrant vow --
So soon forgotten --
While in the greenwood's solemn
         Depths, the grave, grey stones endure.



 Vives floraisons
Evanescent voeu d'été (ou) Serment d'été parfumé
Si vite oublié
Dans les vertes profondeurs
Perdurent les tombes grises

This French version is courtesy of Miss Yves -- she and I have this little game of translating one another's poetry -- 
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21 comments:

Alexis said...

Beautiful.
(and beautiful pictures!)

Victoria said...

Beautiful Tanka, beautiful mosaic, but the rocks are what really speak to me. So old, so strong, so enduring...if only they could speak.

Victoria said...

Oh, wait...I just said they did speak to me, didn't I? (Laughing at myself). Well, I know you know what I mean, Vicki.

Anyway, I hope you do. It was 80 degrees here today and I worked out in the garden. I think the heat addled my brain...

Miss_Yves said...

"Bright colored blossoms", indeed, in your beautiful collage.
The shape of the stone has the appearence of a rock in a japanese lanscape (or in a zen garden)
Very suggestive .

Miss_Yves said...

There are too much syllables in the french words to keep every word, and it's difficult to maintain the abract ideas of your tanka. something is vowed to disappear...

Vives floraisons (5)
Evanescent voeu d'été (7)/ou) Serment d'été parfumé (7)
Si vite oublié (5)
Dans les vertes profondeurs (7)
Perdurent les tombes grises (7)

Miss_Yves said...

abstract

Brian Miller said...

thats a lovely tanka...and collage as well...springs rainbow...

Mr. Stupid said...

That's a great Tanka. Beautiful pictures...:)

Jon Lee said...

What a beautiful collage of pictures. I love the poem as well. Those rocks, so old, so lovely.

Martin H. said...

Wow, what a contrast! The blooms are stunning, while the rocks have a quiet beauty, all of their own.

Vicki Lane said...

Thanks, Alexis!

Made me laugh, Victoria! That's the sort of thing I do all the time.

Though my knowledge of French is limited and I can only guess at the pronunciation, Miss Yves, your translation seems to work very well. One must take the liberties to makr a poem!

Thanks, Brian, Mr. S, Jon Lee and Martin! I really love that particular group of rocks -- they're in the woods beside our driveway so I enjoy their beauty every time I go out.

Friko said...

Beautiful words and beautiful photos.
A Sunday treasure.

FOLKWAYS NOTEBOOK said...

A blossom quilt, some meaningful words and a rock of ages -- wonderful! -- barbara

Kathryn Magendie said...

lovely lovely.....

Jingle said...

beautiful tanka,
the words and the image are perfect!

Vicki Lane said...

Thanks Friko, Barbara, Kat, and Jingle!

Merisi said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading both versions!
A delightful way to keep up with French. ;-)

Meri said...

Words and images -- YUM! And I'm with Victoria. The rocks are amazing.

Miss_Yves said...

Thank you, Vicki Lane; I enjoy this "free rule" we fixed ourselves!

Vagabonde said...

This is nice. It’s so difficult to translate poetry in a poetical style and keep the feeling of the piece.

Vicki Lane said...

If I were a foreign language teacher, I would assign blogs in that language for my students to follow. I've learned a lot of French just by following Miss Yves' blog (and by keeping a French/English dictionary at my side.)