Sometimes it's hard to be someone who learned all their grammar in the 1950's. My initial reaction to use of they for a gender fluid person was
that of an English teacher from the last century: “They can’t do that!”
But the more I read and the more I considered the very real
case of those born somewhere in the middle of the spectrum that is gender, the
more I began to accept this jarring usage, albeit while gritting my teeth a bit.
Recently, in editing one of the submissions for my class, I ran
into a paragraph where a tarot reader is explaining the card for The Mage and says
of the figure on the card ‘They’re pointing up with one hand…” As
I was prepared to correct that they, I noticed that the writer had described
the mage as androgynous. Aha! I pulled back my electronic red pencil, feeling
inordinately proud of myself for having made this shift.
I refuse to be like the folks who still cling to the two
spaces after a period or never split an infinitive despite the change in most modern style books. As long as
I’m being paid for editing, I owe it to the writers to stay up to date and aware
of current usage.
But I have found myself wishing there were a gender neutral
pronoun so that they would continue to be plural forever.
Then I realized–we’ve been using they to refer to a
single person for years--in cases where the gender is unknown. As in:
Someone left a note
on my car
Who was it?
They didn’t sign it
Or look back at that first sentence. 'Someone who learned all their grammar..."
I'm that someone and I know my gender, yet I didn't write her.
Weird.
7 comments:
Despite the exceptions, it sounds weird to me too. Yes, a gender neutral pronoun would be very nice. They (haha) have tried, but it hasn't worked.
Yep, too difficult to incorporate a new word.
An interesting post. I've not considered the "they" that way! Have a grand weekend!
I’m learning to live with ‘they.’ Split infinitives and double spaces I’ll happily continue using, though. 😀
Unlearn and relearn to no avail sometimes...
I love the way your mind works. Always thought provoking.
I wonder, Therese, how/if the French language accommodates the gender fluid who don't wish to identify as male or female. I'm guessing the Academy wouldn't be quick to make changes. But I could certainly be wrong.
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