My email's spam filter works hard to keep me safe and once a day it sends me a link to view and give the thumbs up or down to all its captures, in their infinite variety.
Much of it is from places where I once ordered something on line -- a leather handbag, some sheets, a cat toy.
And there's lots of clutter from liberal/progressive/ left wing causes because I've signed a petition or made a donation – I swear, make a donation to Planned Parenthood because Sarah Palin pissed you off and you’re on their list for life.
Then there are others that are puzzling because I don't know why why they're targeting me.
Easier to get approved! -- one says and it's tempting, because deep down, isn’t that what we all want -- approval?
Online education – study the world of ultrasound technology – perhaps this could be my big break and an exciting new career.
Or perhaps not. I might become a woodworker if I just follow this link that promises
You can build almost anything.
Cheap solar panels, iPad minis, Toilet paper coupons, Pure white kidney bean extract, Credit scores, Throw away your glasses -- okay, I did order some cheap reading glasses on line so I guess that's where they got my email. Funny though, if the glasses company sells names to the throw away your glasses folks, don't they realize they could be losing customers?
Look twenty again - Right.
Solutions for every body type -- I'm almost afraid to ask.
Eliminate fine lines and wrinkles -- No more ironing?
Then the offers get even more urgent and more puzzling:
There is a perfect person for you – find them now!
Pregnant and uninsured – take action now!
Resources for depression help!
Affordable private rehab !
Be a man, restore your confidence !
Who in the world do these spammers think I am?
At last I hit one that may answer my question. A genealogy site I once used in making a family tree for one of my character warns me:
VICKI LANE! -- YOUR IDENTITY HAS CHANGED!!!
Well, that explains it. Evidently, now in addition to being wrinkled,overweight, and aging (but then, who isn't aging?) I'm also a lonely, pregnant, uninsured, depressed, addicted, un-confident man.
Good luck on finding that perfect person for me.