Tellie and Marion and the Supremes

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When I read the news that the Supreme Court had declined to review various gay-marriage cases, in effect making gay marriage legal in a number of additional states, my thoughts turned to my great aunt Tellie and her friend Marion. These two women were a part of my life as far back as I can remember. "Old maid" school teachers in a small town in Alabama, they shared a house and a life.

When they came to visit my grandparents, they shared a bed. 

They taught me how to make fudge and penuche and they showed me how to make pine needle baskets.  Their jams and preserves took prizes at the county fair as did their needlework. They loved cross stitch, usually sitting side by side on a sofa to work on the same tablecloth or baby quilt.

They lived up into their nineties. And when Tellie developed Alzheimer's and had to be put in a facility many miles from their home, Marion made the hour long drive every day to be with her.

If a couple like that can be denied marriage, while people like Newt Gingrich (serial adulterer,) Cher (who married Gregg Allman a week after divorcing Sonny Bono only to file for divorce from Allman nine days later,) and all those other folks you read about while in the checkout line at the grocery are free to marry and re-marry, I really have to wonder how people like Ted Cruz can go on about the 'sanctity of marriage.'

Cruz accused the Supreme Court of undermining "the constitutional  authority of each state to define marriage consistent with the values of its citizens."

What if those citizens don't approve of interracial marriages? What if they approve of polygamy?  Seems like deja vu all over again. . .

 

And for those who argue that the mere existence of gay marriage threatens traditional marriage, I can't do better than quote from a Facebook post by my older, traditionally married son, commenting on a wail from a defender of traditional marriage that the Supreme Court had decided to  'watch marriage burn to ashes... ' 

"Speaking as someone who fully expects his marriage to be intact in another five, ten, twenty, however-many years, this reads so much like a lack of personal confidence. Maybe your own marriage is held together with chewing gum and brittle pacing tape, but there's no need to project." 

 

Knights in Shining Armor

Facebook is so insidious -- it's easy to get caught up in other people's drama. I've gotten better about refraining from jumping into an argument with people whose opinions I know I have no chance of swaying. But I still find myself sometimes following those arguments and grinding my teeth. 

Hence this post.

Two guys I know very slightly  -- both FB friends -- were tangling over a political question.  A woman weighed in on the side of the fella whose original post had inspired the wrangle and the other fella took her to task for her opinions. No  names were called but he dared to question the basis for her beliefs.

At which point, the original poster told the second fella he needed to apologize to the lady and soon after, the original poster's lady friend chimed in, telling the woman who had  been offended that she was glad her boyfriend could defend this other woman against the nasty man who had dared to call her out. (I'm paraphrasing but that was the gist of it.)

And I thought, being the curmudgeon that I am, I'd be thrilled to have a Big Strong Man protect me against physical danger. Hell, if he wants to open a door for me, I won't be offended -- though if I got there first, I'd just as likely open it for him.

But, when it comes to a battle of words and or wits, I would be incredibly offended if someone tried to 'protect' me just because I'm a woman (and an old woman at that.) Back off, buddy, I can handle this. 

I guess that makes me one of those FemiNazis that gets Rush Limbaugh's panties in a wad . . .

Good.

(Images from N/C/Wyeth's illustrations for A Boy's King Arthur)

Can You Hear the Guns?

One of my earliest memories is from World War II. It must have been in 1945 -- I would have been two, if this is a true memory. My father was away, fighting in the War and I remember being in my grandparents' back yard, sittting on the grass, gazing across the green expanses then looking up at the sky and wondering, if I listened very hard, if I could hear the guns.

This old memory resurfaced today as I was looking through my pictures, trying to decide what to post.   There are so many terrible things going on just now -- not a worldwide war, thank goodness --but it's almost as if I listened hard enough, I should be able to hear, not just the guns  but the crying.  

Iraq -- mission very much NOT accomplished . . .  

how many died, how many suffered . . . and for what? 

Gun violence/school shootings. . . and we have become a nation where a public figure can defiantly say," Your dead kids don't trump my constitutional rights" . . . where others deny some of the shootings ever took place or  even worse, claim that they were part of a plot instigated by this Administration to take everyone's guns.

The tightening grip of religion -- the appalling brutality of Sharia law in some Muslim countries is echoed in the pronouncement of a Republican/Tea Party candidate from Oklahoma who says it would be 'Biblical' to stone gays . . .

  

And closer to home, North Carolina's leaders appear poised to endanger our very air and water through lowering standards, encouraging fracking, stifling dissent, and prohibiting lawsuits -- all for the sake of the corporations that have bought them. 

I could continue  . . . but I won't. Time to go back outside.

 Time to listen for the guns . . . and the crying. 

Use It or Lose It

 So, I've been feeling the need for a bit of a rant coming on, ever since a commenter on FaceBook said she'd not heard about the pre-abortion trans-vaginal probe being mandated in various states.  

Those of you in other, more rational countries may find some of this hard to believe. But not only is there a faction in the USA that is seeking to ignore science in favor of religion when it come to what should be taught in our schools, there are a truly frightening number of legislators, mainly at the state level, seeking to roll back women's rights.  Interestingly enough, these are the same folks who are vocal against big government interference. Except, it seems, when it comes to women.

 "Government so small it fits in your uterus."

Here's a link to an excellent piece that details some of the legislation affecting women being considered. It's long but well worth the read, particularly if you're an American woman concerned about your rights. 

 Forcing a woman to carry an already dead fetus to full term, refusing to allow abortion under any circumstance, including cases where the mother's life is endangered by the pregnancy, granting 'personhood' to a just-fertilized egg while systematically stripping away the rights of the woman who produced the egg are just some of the extreme measures under consideration.

Others include allowing doctors to lie about the results of an ultrasound if there's reason to believe the mother might choose to abort, requiring the permission of the father before an abortion could be performed (rape victims may be in something of a quandary here, especially if the rapist was unknown and got away,) making a woman witness an abortion being performed before having one . . . and just plain old waiting periods.

I am baffled by those who are more concerned about the survival of the 'pre-born' than the health and happiness of the 'born.' I don't think any woman should be forced to bear a child she doesn't want. Of course it would be better if she didn't get pregnant in the first place -- but, even leaving rape out of the equation, passion and human nature being what they are, accidents happen. I'm in favor of trusting a woman to make the best choice for herself and her family.

But wait, there's more. There are those in government who would ban divorce, even when the woman is being abused -- and these same legislators seek to define a single parent family as a type of child abuse.

I hope that women will pay attention to those who are treating them as if they were no more than baby incubators without the brains or conscience to make the tough decisions.

More importantly, I hope that when it comes time to vote, we'll all remember the War on Women. 

Okay, rant over. Back to spring flowers and sweetness and light tomorrow.

The Week They Tried To . . .

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear -- where to begin?  I attempt to reserve most of my political rants for Facebook but this past week has convinced me that I really need to speak up  here  as well.  Women's rights are endangered on many fronts.

Beginning with the all-male contraception hearing in the House and moving on to Virginia's proposed invasive ultrasound law and pausing for comic relief at the suggestion of Mr. Santorum's money bags backer that all women need for birth control is an aspirin -- held between their knees, one wonders if we've fallen into some ghastly time warp that has sent things back fifty or a hundred years.

It's not just about abortion anymore, folks.  It's about contraception, public education, and prenatal ultrasounds, just for starters. (Santorum opposes all of them.)

 

Sharia law, Roman Catholic dogma, Bible-based morality, Latter Day Saints theology -- they none of them should be the basis of our government. That's what separation of church and state means to me.  


You don't want abortion, contraception, public education, prenatal ultrasounds -- fine with me.Don't choose to participate in any of them. But it's not your right to choose for others, based on your own religious views. 


I find this picture below of the panel discussing contraception coverage rather chilling, to say the least.

FUBAR

F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition -- a good old military acronym that pretty well describes the state of the US government at this point. I swear, our biddies have more sense than some of the partisan ideologues wasting our time and endangering our future just now.

As one of my friends recently said on Facebook, "Some days you just don't have enough middle fingers."

Here's a suggestion that might help our Congress to focus. I received it as an email yesterday. 


(Well, it sounds like a start... but Sally T has just directed my attention to this -  http://www.factcheck.org/2011/03/congressional-reform-act/)   which says that some of this is misinformation.  I checked it out and am reminded I should always fact check such e mails.  Still -- letting your Congresspersons know how you feel about their job performance is always a good idea


My husband suggests that, if the US must default on some debts, the salaries of Congress and their staffs should be paid only after other debts are satisfied. 

             
Proposed Congressional Reform Act of 2011
           
1.    No Tenure / No Pension.
 
A  Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when
they are out of office.
           
2.   Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social  Security.
 
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security
system immediately.  All future funds flow into the Social Security
system, and  Congress participates with the American  people.  It may not be
used for any other  purpose.
           
3.  Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans
do.
           
4.  Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise.  Congressional
pay will rise by the  lower of CPI or 3%.
           
5.  Congress loses their current health care system and participates in
the same health care system  as the American people.
 
6.  Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American
people.
           
7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective
1/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen.
Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.   Serving in Congress
is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen
legislators, so ours should serve their term(s),  then go home and back to work.
           

            THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!! 


           

Requisite Patriotic Post

Okay, I love this country; let's get that out of the way first. While we’ve gotten a lot wrong – slavery, the treatment of Native Americans,  stealing Texas from Mexico, not to mention Hawaii from the Hawaiians --  we’ve gotten a lot right – even if we’re still struggling with that concept of liberty and justice for all.

But the current political climate has me wondering how well this democracy thing is working out.

These are uneasy times and the political polarization in Washington seems to be holding our (and it is our) government hostage. Maybe it's just me, but I get the feeling that the opposition wouldn't approve Mom or apple pie if Obama spoke in favor of them. Like Rush Limbaugh, the opposition wants Obama to fail. It is their prime directive, their avowed objective. And if it means paralyzing the government, well, they're okay with that.

Of course spending can't keep exceeding revenue; yes, there will have to be sacrifices.  But not all on one side. What ever happened to compromise?

I know, I'm looking at this through the eyes of a liberal -- maybe that's why I can't understand what would be wrong with things like eliminating the tax loopholes on corporate jets. Or why the very wealthiest shouldn't pay higher taxes before we start cutting Medicare and Social Security and education. Some of those very wealthiest being executives who profited by government bailouts.

It's hard to celebrate Independence Day when  government seems to have ground to a halt, sabotaged by a bunch of politicians who have fully earned the title "The Party of NO.' May their fireworks fizzle and their ice cream melt.

We'll be celebrating in a quiet way here at home -- keeping an eye on Silverbell, the Jersey girl whose calf in due any day now, and hoping all the time that a miracle will happen and all the flags and rhetoric and patriotic speeches will remind these folks in Congress  that their first loyalty should be to the United States of America -- not to their party nor to the corporations that fund them.

We can hope.

Don't You Hate It When...

It's been happening all too often -- I'm getting mail and phone calls obviously intended for my late grandmother . . . or someone much older than I. Yesterday's mail brought this large print solicitation from The Scooter Store, with a helpful (and FREE)  Personal Mobility Assessment just for me! I mean, it had my name right there. It said I could complete it on my own or with the help of my caregiver or family member.

Care giver! What I want is a gardener. And though my knees are creaky, the scooter isn't going to be a bit of help to me unless it has four wheel drive and a dump bed. 

Oh, wait -- we have one of those.

I'm just being cranky -- but I resent the assumption that because I'm 68, I need large print, a scooter, and may need my caregiver to help me decide stuff.

Then there was the phone call on Tuesday -- a woman with a charming, motherly-sounding voice wanted to know if I was taking my diabetes meds daily.

What? I said. Why would I do that? And she muttered something and hung up.

This wasn't a wrong number -- she called me by name.  Again with the assumptions --  a person in my age group may well have diabetes. I suspect that had I said, Yes, I take them every day, she would have been quick to offer me a better price on meds.

If I had a cane, I'd hit someone with it. Instead, I'll quote Dylan Thomas --

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

As the old man in Monty Python's Holy Grail said, when they were trying to toss him on to the cart full of corpses. "I'm not dead yet!"